The German’s gain a sense of humour at last…

You may recall last week I mocked the German’s over their lack of humour when a Nazi gnome ‘accidentally’ entered the country and that the golden gnome was at risk at being sent to prison or at worse, gassed. Well it seems that with the world more interested in us being all killed off by swine flu, they have decided to let the gnome walk away free and to continue saluting Nazi German.

A German Dictionary, which we could have all potentially owned.

But the German’s have warned against any attempt to copy the idea and that gnomes have  a certain abuse potential, in fact it shouldn’t be al-Qaeda we should be fearing, it’s gnomes boarding planes and heading to Germany that are the true threat.

Sticking with Germany, they have recently added 5,000 words to their Dictionary, or Duden as they call it. Now to show you how young this fine nation is, the word “Kreditklemme” (credit crunch) is making its first appearance, which sounds and looks like a breakfast cereal containing Lemon.  But what I liked most was this, “Vorratsdatenspeicherung”, those 23 letters mean telecommunications data retention to us and I’ll give a pound to the homeless donkeys for every time you use that throughout your day.

Now I go searching around the BBC news website searching for entertaining, maybe informative and non-educating articles every week. For me it has to be their coverage on swine flu. A quick look down the side of a swine flu story and your see articles titled  ”How to make a swine flu vaccine“, “Can masks helps stop flu spread” and my favourite “Swine flu: Your experiences“. Now is it me or is this whole swine flu craze becoming a bit Michael Jackson? Do we need all these stories, is it really going to help? I don’t even think these swine experiences are real, they are probably hand picked by the BBC to give the most extreme side of the flu to side with the Government’s crazy guidelines on not going into public places, drinking water, eating bread, not even touching your own face. We should all sit in a dark room for 20 years and disconnect ourselves from civilization. But that isn’t the best thing. What I really love is this graph outlining how many could catch swine flu:

If the news reports, pictures won't scare you, maybe this will?

I’ll admit, the most extreme side to swine flu outlined by the BBC is well… extreme. But its another case of everyone going a bit over the top and viewing a few deaths as an epidemic. I mean when you consider how many people are killed on the roads each year, your still more likely to be knocked down by a bus tomorrow than being killed by swine flu next month.

Let’s stop restricting our lives as if this is the worst thing the world has ever faced, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen anyway?

Administration, law, hunger… who cares?

I’ve pretty much spent a whole 5 minutes wondering what to write, so I look back at the past 7 days of news and the normal trash flashes up. Allied Carpets hits administration. Boring. Facebook breaches Canadian law. Boring. Christina Aguilera is to help world hunger. No one cares. There has simply been no news and the world is fine. A part from Swine Flu, thats very much alive and kicking. You can actually now track it from country to country on the BBC News website by clicking here which is pretty cool if you want an alternative to watching paint dry.

The Nazi gnome

But what I have found funny is there is a German artist who understands British human. He’s created a garden gnome giving the Nazi salute, perfect for any British Garden in Yorkshire. But in all seriousness this is a big thing for the Germans. There is an investigation going on about the 40cm figure which ended up in Germany, as its illegal to make any Nazi remarks, gestures or even glorifying the swastika whilst in the country. I hope the gnome doesn’t go to prison.

But it’s not just the German’s looking for something to fill their time, we’re doing a good job of that in England! Now, your having a barbecue with some family and friends and before you’ve even turned the burgers over the police arrive, in a riot van, helicopter over head surrounding you before you can even reach for the folk. Well that is what happened to an organised birthday party in that crime hot spot, Devon. I mean come on, putting a few burgers on and having a laugh is hardly a crime? Andrew Poole, who was celebrating his 30th birthday at the time, summed things up pretty well, “What effectively the police did was come in and stop 15 people eating burgers”. Clearly the police are trying very hard to tackle obesity, it’s a shame they didn’t start with the Chav’s outside a McDonald’s in Essex.